"Don't Think About Roadkill As You Masturbate"

If Park Dietz offers advice on how to avoid life as a psychotic killer, by god, you take it. Dietz is a forensic psychiatrist so famous (in, um, certain circles) that his arrival in a courtroom "is kind of like a rock star coming to town." He also spent a very, very scary amount of quality time with Jeffery Dahmer bonding over porn, Pinhead and Darth Vader. (You know when Darth strangles dudes without touching them? That's hot.) Dietz's conclusions? Dahmer was actually sane (which, as far as I'm concerned, is way more chilling than if he was batshit crazy), and that "an adolescence spent collecting dead animals from the woods and incorporating them into his sexual fantasies" was maybe not such a good idea. Parents: you've been warned.