The English Are So Civilized

Wimbledon officials have sent letters to ten people who they would rather not have show up to watch tennis, thank you very much. Of course, since said officials are just a bunch of guys who wield no actual power, the threat is a little weak. To wit: if any of the Big Ten (more on them later) try to enter the All England Club without an invitation (suggesting, oddly, that some of them may in fact be Undead), "the police [will be] asked to make an arrest." Oooooooh scary. No word on what happens if the pigs can't be bothered. On the Banned List are:

• Unnamed scary stalker-types who follow hot Russians.
• A guy who does things like pretending he plays for Manchester United. (are you allowed to ban people just because they make your security look bad? And since this guy's whole goal is getting where he doesn't belong, I'm not sure the letter is going to do anything more than egg him on. Good thinking, All England Club.)
• That kilted ex-priest who attacked a marathoner in Athens. (When you're insane, how often do you change your behavior based on letters? Honestly. I mean, can the guy even read with the voices in his head yelling all the time?)
• The dreaded Wimbledon Streaker (who, as the only listee with his own website, clearly merits special attention).
  

We can only pray the letters are heeded-- imagine the chaos that will ensue if the All England Club is forced to issue a second round of letters? "Dear Scotland Yard: please come by and arrest some people. Oh, you're busy? Well, it's up to you. Only if you have time. We'll wait. Thank you."