Tossin' Beer Bottles from the Ice Cream Truck

Russell Crowe isn’t the only mental midget throwing shit at strangers. The Milwaukee Journal reports that part-madman/part-genius ice cream man David Blundell had the brilliant audacity to throw liquor bottles instead of Fudgsickles (we’re usually consumed with criminals who are basically products of Nazi-sympathizers and Pinto-driving, Dixie-Chicks-suporting rednecks, so we’re just delighted about this). And it gets better: not only does our drunk crusader prefer booze to Klondike tossing while blaring “Pop Goes the Weasel” - he’s also a registered sex offender.

A local bored resident called the police in an effort to restore the community’s Fudgsickles: “I told all the kids that I saved them all from the bad guy,” she said. “It’s a good thing I’m anal.”
Weird, doesn’t she know Flintstone Push-Ups are the preferred choice?