Bizarro Blottered!

Happy News is the opposite of Blottered: while we're bad people, determined to burrow deep into the filth of human nature gone bad, they're citizen journalists, dedicated to reporting "up-to-the-minute news, geared to lift spirits and inspire lives." Aw! The top headline at the moment? Great news! London Spared More Explosions. In an effort to force them to acknowledge that people really do suck, I did a search for "crime." There were the top five results:

• Gnomes!
• Kyrgyz foreign min.: Democracy on the way
• Senate apologises over lynching law
• Russia, China, India ally against terrorism
• Russia, U.S. to fight terrorism together

Wow. I mean, I already loved gnomes and everything, but I had no idea that terrorism was such a great too to bring people together. Thanks, Happy News!