Calling Wesley Snipes

In March, a Ukrainian woman was arrested for keeping drunk and high kids (they didn't come that way, she plied them with intoxicants) scattered around her home as living Tuperware, full of a delcious, red beverage. When she got bored/hungry/crazy, she'd bleed them, and then drink or sell their blood. In the vampire's defense, though, she's suffering from a "muscle-wasting condition," and drinking blood helps-- everybody knows that. Plus, she had to buy the glue she gave the kids to sniff, and was only taking a little of their blood in exchange. As payment, if you will. And she was giving them warm meals, and a place to sleep (albeit tied down). Gosh, it almost sounds reasonable when she says it.

And now, just days ago, a man was arrested in Kaliningrad for attacking an old woman on the street, stabbing her, and trying to lap at her blood. After the arrest, it was discovered that the vamp had done the same thing to two elderly women in a nearby home. Mmm...babushka blood.

What makes all of this even odder (if that's possible), is that the headlines uniformly refer to the perpetrators as VAMPIRES. The words "alleged" or "believed-to-be," or even "bat shit crazy" regularly fail to make an appearance. This tacit acknowledgment of infestation leads to a single, inevitable conclusion: Russia has a vampire problem, and Blade is their only hope.