I Remember When You Just Had To Tag A Subway Car

Apparently gang initiations have gotten a little more hardcore these days, at least in (wait for it) Russia. Even if you're a Moscow city councilman and have serious work to do (bribes to pay, kickbacks to arrange-- that sort of thing), when your crew calls, you drop everything and answer. Such was the case with a young Muscovite (Just 25 and already a city councilman! Think of his future.) who, not satisfied with just being a member of the Liberal Democratic Party (which is neither), was eager to join an illegal gang as well. In order to join said gang, the lad felt he had to:

1. Call a car dealer and tell him he wanted to buy something nice and snazy. (Totally misunderstanding, the dealer showed up with a Volga. If a murder wasn't already in the works, this probably sealed the deal.)
2. Shoot the car dealer.
3. Cut his body up into little pieces.
4. Put the little pieces in a whole bunch of different bags.
5. Drive (possibly in the Volga) around eastern Moscow and leave the bags in various parks.

Or at least, that's what he did. I can't imagine the gang's demands were that specific-- they were probably more like "Убейте человека и вы внутри. Высокие 5." (Which of course, translates to "Kill a dude, please, and you're in. High five.") But you have to admire the councilman's creativity in carrying out the task-- that same willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty was doubtless the key to his rapid political ascent.

Now, though, since he's been arrested and confessed, and since Russian courts return a guilty verdict in over 95% of criminal trials, that political career might just be in trouble. Bummer. On the positive side, though, he totally made it in to the gang!