Lions And Tigers And Wives, Oh My!

The owner of Action Wildlife, an "exotic animal and petting zoo" in Connecticut, sort of locked some people in the other day. Apparently the fuckers refused to pay him the admission fee, even though they claimed they were only in the parking lot to see if the petting zoo was open. The owner, James A. Mazzarelli (Questions for Jim? Ask him yourself!), demanded the full $15 fee and, when the visitors refused, he called them trespassers and locked the gate. However, he seems to have neglected to call the police about the property invasion. Apparently it was Mazzarelli's brilliant plan that they would all sit there until the Admission Fee Fairy made $15 appear in his hand. Luckily (for him, of course), one of his prisoners busted out a cell phone and called the cops herself.

At that point, things got even more complicated, because Mazzarelli claims that he was abused by the state troopers who arrived to investigate the call.

He dragged me over to his car, threw me on the hood, and said "You messed with a state troopers wife." At that point I knew why I was being roughed up.

There are a couple things here, though, that make one wonder about the validity of Mazzarelli's story. First of all, none of the humans (or animals) locked in his zoo is married to any sort of cop. Second, an element of his defense is a claim that "he has always had good experiences with state police when they've been called to his wildlife zoo." Uh huh. So this happens a lot, does it? You better find someone to feed those animals, my man, cause you're goin' down.