This Is Your Dog On Drugs

You can always count on the LA Times to get to the bottom of the most important stories, particularly those involving romantic things like gateway drugs.

[Pot's] effect on canines is considerably less benign. Even a few grams can cause staggering, vomiting, urinary incontinence and, in severe cases, seizures and coma. "Some people may enjoy pot, but...dogs do not."

Got it, punks? No matter how your dog looks at you, do NOT feed it weed. My dog begs for paring knives, for fuck's sake. She doesn't know what she's asking for-- dogs are dumb. Oh, I know, it was an accident. And the pot wasn't even yours! Your roommate was making some brownies when she got high distracted, and poor Thor toked up in a serious way. Whatever, dude. What's that, ma'am? You found Sweetness staggering around in little Johnny's room, listening to Bob Marley? Huh. Could she, maybe, have stumbled onto Johnny's stash? Oh, right. He's not a drug user. Sorry, my bad. Let me guess-- he uses a lot of air freshener, but that's just because he's a very clean child. Of course he is. Lady, let me just tell you this: it's pot today, smack tomorrow. Do you want to see Sweetness with a needle in her paw? I thought not.