Morning Coffee Criminology

Poor Steven Ewell. After sleeping with a sixteen year old girl (one of his students) and serving three years in the slammer for doing something many people fantasize about, he's having a hard time finding a place to live in Jersey. We think it's punishment enough that he lives in Jersey in the first place. [via]

What's worse than wandering around Janesville, Florida in August wearing a plastic Storm Trooper costume? Getting arrested for it. Unfortunately, it's not because they have laws against being a nerd in Florida. Hopefully the guy at least got a sympathy fuck from one of the 'Sex Slave Leias' at the con. [via]

It seems that the price of porn for soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan is a grisly picture from the battlefield. That's right, trade the images that will give you post traumatic stress syndrome for pictures of poonanny [automagic Google translation, originale en italiano]! Why are we not surprised the idea was conceived by Italians? And why isn't the DOD giving our troops all the free porn they could ever want in the first place? [via]

Improbable photo of my fellow NYU alum Melissa Joan Hart via Leia's Metal Bikini.