An Offer He Couldn't Refuse

Ho hum, another murder in Russia. This time, the abbot of the Davydova Pustyn monastery was found beaten to death in his cell, with his hands tied behind his back. Just another day in the Motherland-- toss the body, clean the floor, get a new abbot in there. What's the freaking hold up, people? What's that? You say he was tortured? You found $5000 on his desk? And $200,000 was gone from his safe? He had a safe? What is this guy, a MobAbbot? Oh, he is? Well right on!

In the US, our churchmen abuse boys. In Russia, they're into bigger and less personally destructive things like money laundering, tax evasion, and trade in diamonds and oil-- allegedly with Saddam Hussein. Apparently, since the rest of the country is so corrupt, no one really cares. This particular dead guy was widely known in "business circles," and his monastery (which, incidentally, is the final resting place of two different mafia heads) recently underwent a dramatic refurbishment, compete with marble floors and other shiny things. Clearly, the man had resources beyond "money old ladies give when they come to church.”

Since the Moscow regional governor (read: Kremlin stooge) has announced he will personally run the investigation, it's safe to say that the only person arrested will be an old lady from Azerbaijan with one leg who happens to cross paths with the governor at the wrong time. Rock on, Russian Mob.