Thou Shalt Not Kill

Well, as if we didn't already know he was a choad, Marion Gordon Robertson thinks the United States should make Hugo Chavez' paranoid delusions come true and assassinate him. Of course, the United States doesn't assassinate world leaders -- we outsource the work to the graduates of the School of the Americas.

In an exclusive scoop, Blottered has obtained a list of the other people Robertson wants garroted by the CIA:

• The Korean hooker who handcuffed him to the bedframe and stole his wallet back in '51


• Gerard Straub, author of Salvation for Sale


• The State Department, preferrably by nuclear attack


• Pete McCloskey, who pointed out that his Korean War "service" was stocking the bar at the officer's club


• Jimmy "That Fat Philandering Fuck" Swaggart


• Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Methodists and, presumably, Papists -- but not the Jews, yet


• Greg Palast, author of The Best Democracy that Money Can Buy


• The Justices of the Supreme Court, except Scalia


• Sodomites (again, except Scalia)


• The clerk who refused to pre-date his marriage certificate by a month


• Chinese fetuses


• Satan, AKA Andrew Krucoff