"That's Thinner To You!"

San Jose self styled gypsy auto theft gang drive away with $2.3 million dollars worth of stolen cars using false identities and imaginary financial credit score cards to drive the cars away from dealerships: 113 cars to be exact. The gypsies all attended the same 'gypsy cultural fellowship meeting' in San Francisco before descending on car dealerships like Vlaad the Impaler's gypsy henchman, except, unfortunately, no one was protecting the gaunt corpse in the gold trimmed coffin. Authorities have at present arrested 26 of the gypsy gang, and are still looking for 60 others who may or may not have returned to the three weird sisters in the castle who are shoving car keys up their raw sex parts, and feasting on raw, red pulsing hearts. But 90 of the cars have been recovered so far. Hurrah for the good guys and none for me, who briefly got stuck dreaming of a Dracula driving a stolen 2005 Taurus with all the amenities, couple of hookers in the back.

Group of self-described gypsies suspected in car theft scam (The Mercury News)