The Delay Factor

Tom DeLay just can't seem to find a way out of his troubles. "The Hammer" (one wonders why voters would elect someone with such a vindictive nickname - wouldn't one rather have a representative public official nicknamed "The Hugger"?) - is facing yet more legal trouble as a Texas Grand Jury indicted him today on charges of conspiring to launder money and money laundering. It almost seems like the same thing but apparently the latter carries a penalty up to life in prison.

Just a week prior Delay was indicted with a charge of conspiracy to violate campaign laws. Both indictments have been filed by District Attorney Ronnie Earle, someone, we hear, is not fond of DeLay, not the littlest tiniest bit of fondness, and the sentiment (or lack thereof) is shared by DeLay, who was a little less than tickled between the toes by this latest development.

"Ronnie Earle has stooped to a new low with his brand of prosecutorial abuse," DeLay said in a statement. "He is trying to pull the legal equivalent of a 'do-over' since he knows very well that the charges he brought against me last week are totally manufactured and illegitimate. This is an abomination of justice."

The simplest and most effective way to resolve this would be a game of PIG played on Capital Hill, a Delay VS. Earle showdown, complete with ESPN sports announcers calling the shots. The loser would then give the winner a tongue bath and fill his mouth with birdseed to be nipped out by the winner in an orgy of pecking.

Grand Jury Re-Indicts DeLay On New Charges (Myway)