DNA Testing Locates Stolen Giant
I’m not sure what effect this will have on the black market trade of massive furry cag-mag but DNA testing has settled the Case Of The Giant 28 Point Stolen Buck. In 1999, the massive buck known-only-as Goliath was stolen from a couple by the owner of a deer farm who promptly renamed the enormous creature Hercules. Naturally, the magic of DNA testing has once again proven its usefulness beyond "regular" murder cases and paternity tests, as the buck was tested and authorities found that Hercules was, in fact, none other than the missing Goliath. (You don't get pictures when I'm at work).
Naturally, after 5 long years spent on a deer farm, Goliath will not immediately remember his rightful owners, therefore the reunited couple plan on re-introducing him gradually, using various subtle forms of animal husbandry techniques to nullify any feelings of rejection Goliath may feel, hoping to rejuvenate the shattered chapel window of their relationship with the deer.
The couple said in a press conference that they hope in a few months time they will again “ride the deer”. I don’t know what that means. But the owner of the deer farm has been convicted of theft and receiving stolen property. And he has been mounted and stuffed, head and hide intact, by police taxidermists as a warning to illegal huge deer buyers everywhere. And I am also in trouble, managing to coax 3 paragraphs out of this, and am going to mount and stuff myself as a warning to others. Can you hear the skinnin’ knife go to work on me? Someone pass the brandy. This is going to sting a little.
Man convicted in theft of gigantic buck (ESPN)
Naturally, after 5 long years spent on a deer farm, Goliath will not immediately remember his rightful owners, therefore the reunited couple plan on re-introducing him gradually, using various subtle forms of animal husbandry techniques to nullify any feelings of rejection Goliath may feel, hoping to rejuvenate the shattered chapel window of their relationship with the deer.
The couple said in a press conference that they hope in a few months time they will again “ride the deer”. I don’t know what that means. But the owner of the deer farm has been convicted of theft and receiving stolen property. And he has been mounted and stuffed, head and hide intact, by police taxidermists as a warning to illegal huge deer buyers everywhere. And I am also in trouble, managing to coax 3 paragraphs out of this, and am going to mount and stuff myself as a warning to others. Can you hear the skinnin’ knife go to work on me? Someone pass the brandy. This is going to sting a little.
Man convicted in theft of gigantic buck (ESPN)
posted by sb at 11:12 AM
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