Milkshakes and Menudo

She was married to an affluent banker, she was having an affair with a TV repairman who lived in a trailer, and she killed her husband by relentlessly beating him with an 8 pound figurine after feeding him a milkshake laced with lethal drugs. All of this happened in Hong Kong. She was convicted and faces life in prison.

Now: Standing to inherit a cool probably-as-much-as-Vanilla Ice-made-at-the-height-of-his-career, $15 million, three children at the center of this are experiencing the subject matter of the song "What's Love Got to Do With It" as they are embroiled in a family squabble over the dead man's assets.

*The children currently live with their uncle, who is facing "marital troubles and a fraud charge"
*The sister of the slain banker wants the children placed with her.
*The "other" estranged wife also wants the children.
*The dead banker is also reputed to have been a violent, sexually abusive drug addict.

That's not enough, Blottered readers. Therefore a false charge has been added to the mix. The slain banker was a Menudo "junkie" and had a hand in personally overseeing the new reality TV show that proposes an "american idol" style competition to find the next members of Menudo - unfortunately he drank Hong Kong milkshake and was beaten to death with an 8 pound pewter figure of Kevin Federline before his vision was realized - thus, creating the Satanic convergence of influences that brought about Sean Preston crawling his way out of the Britney womb-furnace. Thankfully, the Menudo show might still have a chance at finding a network. Keep calling those digits, folks, keep calling as much as you can, toll free.

'We want to respect the heritage of Menudo, but we also want to open it up for the larger American audience. What I think will make Menudo work now is it's really a boy band, not a man band. It appeals to both kids and their families," Silverman said. "Whether it's Ricky Martin, Eva Longoria, George Lopez or J. Lo, we're living in this moment where there is a huge artistic drive from the Latin community." -'

Slain dad's loot dispute (NYD)
the Official Menudo Web Site