Cautionary Tale Of The Light Pole Burglers

Crime enthusiasts know that crime, like celebrity marriage, is often stranger than fiction. It's been a heart breaking "Turkey Day" in that regard, as Nick and Jessica finally threw in the diamond studded watch. I know I was crying as I speared bits of Turkey and stuffing and argued for Jessica's side.
"She's NOT just a rank bimbo!" I yelled, murk of cheap wine and turkey on my breath. My family, quietly afraid for their lives, wondered how to excuse themselves from Thanksgiving dinner without further fuss.
Thank God for a Blottered informant from Baltimore, Maryland. Just when things were looking dim, and I was sitting in front of the tube in my sweatpants, weeping and trying to order anything, just any old thing, from the TV ---- Hon tipped this story off:

Given that they stand some 30 feet tall, their disappearance is attracting a
good deal of attention here -- even as their final destination remains a
mystery. Thieves are sawing down aluminum light poles. Some 130 have vanished
fromBaltimore's streets in the last several weeks, authorities say, presumably
sold for scrap metal. But so far the case of the pilfered poles has stumped the
police and left many local residents wondering just how someone manages to make
off with what would seem to be a conspicuous street fixture.

Hon also had this to say:

it makes one big crack pipe - all the HOs and Dudes line up and hit it like a
pro

Hon, a shut-in detective has clearly done the leg work. But just in case some of those pieces of street lamp don't go to a massive, sectional Crack Cocaine pipe whose length spans several neighboring states ---- Maryland readers, next time you buy an expensive anodized aluminum iPod case, you might just be buying up a little piece of Baltimore.

Light poles vanishing -- believed sold for scrap by thieves 130 street fixtures in Baltimore have been cut down (SF CHRONICLE)