Junk Food Cops

As reported by Blottered in October, close to Halloween, Iowa cops stole candy from a prisoner. And now things have gotten even more dicey. In Texas, land of guns, cowboys, the Alamo, beer bottles flung from trucks adorned with male symbols like chipped antlers and hunting lights a new A has been added to the word atrocity. So let this one hit you like a sad Townes Van Zandt song, right where it hurts, in your thirsty gland.

A Haltom City patrol sergeant has been fired and two detectives disciplined for taking soft drinks out of a refrigerator in a Fort Worth house during the execution of a search warrant, authorities said Tuesday.

What is going on in the buttock touseled halls of copperdom?

"These police officers are human, but we don’t have the luxury of making these type of mistakes," Haltom City Police Chief Ken Burton said Tuesday.

Running from reporters, Ken reached the back of the station. He unzipped his human mask revealing the ghoulish lizard face beneath, complete with Diana pleasing tongue. Pulling out a cross between a cigarette lighter and bug zapper he contacted the Vector Armada to inform them that invasion plans must be carried out post-haste, as the secret alien settlement in Texas was about to be discovered. Go Bush!

Haltom police helped themselves to drinks during search (Star Telegram)

"Who would steal candy from a prisoner?" (Blottered)