Magic On The Highway This Holiday

The central state forces of good are not going to take this holiday season sitting down (or bending over). No, not this year.

Hundreds of additional state police officers are scheduled to patrol six
Midwestern states during the Thanksgiving weekend to ticket motorists not
wearing seat belts, and they will focus especially on rural roads, authorities
said Monday.

For those of you who live in these states, keep to the message. The message is: Drive drunk through urban areas, eschewing all rural roads and B Access roads. When you are finally pulled over, bits of a raw turkey on your dress shirt, your underwear around your knees, and one hand stroking the dry leafy hair of the corn fed Midwestern prostitute leaning with her ass on the glove compartment and her head between your legs, make sure you click in your seat belt BEFORE the Police Officer taps on your window with his Home Depot style flashlight.

Let them try to take you down with a seatbelt fine then. Let them just try.

Police set holiday seat belt crackdown (QC TIMES)