The Reanimators

I personally ache for someone to steal my penis and transplant it on their mouth because I think it would do someone more good than it has done me --- but

Patricia Battisti had thought her back surgery in early 2005 was routine. A letter from her hospital nearly a year later made it clear she was wrong.

Battisti was informed that donated human tissue used in her operation could have been infected with a variety of viruses _ fallout from an alleged scheme to steal body parts.

(...)Authorities believe two men paid off funeral homes so they could harvest bone and skin from the dead without their families' knowledge. Worse, some body parts came from elderly people who died of cancer and possibly from victims of infectious diseases _ a fact disguised by doctored paperwork that indicated they had been younger and healthier.

The Brooklyn district attorney's office has opened a criminal case focusing on scores of funeral homes in the New York City area and hundreds of looted bodies, including that of famed British broadcaster Alistair Cooke. At the same time, the Food and Drug Administration has sought to retrace the path of an untold number of tissue products that were derived from the stolen body parts and sold to medical facilities across the country and parts of Canada.

I know. I'm asking the same question. If medicine from Canada is so cheap why the hell are they importing body parts? I thought a penis in Canada went for two bucks and a pack of cigarettes.

Body part theft scandal expected to spawn widespread litigation (Newsday)