Friday, March 17, 2006

Severed Penis Is The New Career Builder

Been a busy year already. 2006 is the year the world dies. So far this year I've spent every available moment in constructing fictions about the death of Satan, the Iraq war, and my birthday on March 19! (I will accept major credit cards).

"Happy birthday SB, you look nice and you're gettin' fat."

"Yeah - thanks." (I hope you enjoy your next teeth cleaning).

Check out this future porn star:
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday
morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed
organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took
him into custody.
(...)Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached
Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday,
according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment
further.

If "Buttafuco" can do it, why not "Fik"?

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers (Chicago Sun Times)

posted by sb at 9:19 AM

Comments:
First Happy Bday! Second, they should've reattached it to his forehead. Cause he sounds like a dumbasss dickhead.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:11 AM, March 19, 2006
 
Thanks G! Yeah, who cuts off their own penis to throw at someone? Not only the pain, there's only one dick. With fingers at least you'd get ten in case you missed..
# posted by Blogger sb : 8:52 AM, March 20, 2006
 
As a female, I sadly lack any severable genitalia, and am therefore completely defenseless when police confront me. Just one of nature's cruel injustices, I suppose.
# posted by Anonymous Courtney : 3:38 AM, April 04, 2006
 
Oh, Courtney, nice try. Nobody on the Interknot is a girl. We're all fat dudes with stashes like drug smugglers.
# posted by Blogger sb : 10:57 AM, April 05, 2006
 
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