Butchy The Vampire Stalker

A LESBIAN stalker convicted of harassing a "Vampire Queen" performance poet has lost her High Court bid for a judicial review...

And you thought this kind of thing only happened in San Francisco.

Turns out that Manchester is a hotbed of unrequited girl on undead girl action with added poetry and a touch of pantomine.

Rosie Lugosi, the Vampire Queen (real name Rosemary Garland) was stalked by Honor Donnelly at poetry meetings until the police stepped in. Donnelly then tried to get a job as a backstage dresser in a pantomime that Lugosi was starring in.

The judge ruled against Donnelly's request for a review after she was given a year's restraining order, a six-month rehabilitation order and ordered to pay £75 in costs.

Lesbian stalker loses vampire love battle - Manchester Evening News

Strange Fruit

A woman who committed suicide by hanging herself from a tree visible from a housing tract and a major road, was left, uh, hanging there for three (3) hours before police were finally called to the scene. Neighbors and passersby had assumed it was an elaborate, if gruesome, Halloween decoration. "It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, said.

As always, Oscar®-winning makeup artist Rick Baker is to blame.

Body Hanging from Tree Mistaken for Halloween Decoration
(CNN)

Libby Prison Mask Hit Hot Topic Stores Just In Time For Halloween

Pretend I told you the background information about Plane. Also pretend I spent a page dismantling the timeline for the Plame investigation, Fitzgerald's role as prosecutor, what this could mean for the Conservative movement, this adminstration, and fuck, if you want, I told you where you can locate some serious Turkish hashish. If you're like me, you know that a good pile of hash from Turkey is like having access to all of Santa's 'present castle'.

Now that I lectured you about the background, which you already knew anyway, I must say that it is good to see a strong, impartial, and nonpartisan public official.

Congratulations Libby. You knew I was talking about Libby, right?

Vice President Cheney's Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been
indicted for five counts by the federal grand jury investigating the outing of
covert CIA agent Valerie Plame for perjury, obstruction of justice and making
false statements to the grand jury...
(...)Others may yet be indicted, lawyers close to the investigation say.
While the media spotlight has focused on key White House advisors, officials
outside the senior staff have also been fingered in the probe.
Sources close
to the investigation say the probe will continue, and could expand to include
other elements, including forged documents that purported to show Iraq had
sought uranium from Niger.

Oh, I mean, not Libby. Fitzgerald. God, telling these people apart is rocket science.

Vice President Dick Cheney'schief of staff Libby indicted (Raw Story)

Update on Gatsby Murder

Lisa Parisi's estranged boyfriend, Edgar Sanchez, was extradited to NYC today to face questioning regarding her murder. Sanchez was extradited on an outstanding DWI charge, but Nassau police believe him to be a "person of interest" in the case.

On a side note, I recieved an email from Lisa's sister who stated to me that Edgar was in fact a monster and beat up on her sister relentlessly. Her sister's words were, "He beat on my sister and the police never once stepped up to help her."

To report abuse, you can visit the following sites:
WomensLaw.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline

Gatsby Slay Beau Back - NY Post

Saint George And The Food And Oil Scandal

Let's talk about George Galloway. The british MP who likes to portray a modern day version of Howard Hughes VS the US Senate (Hughes fought a battle against the senate that, at least in the movie adaptation of Hughes life seems somewhat similiar to Galloway's intense sparring with the US senate back in May).

Lots of us are waiting for the verdict on the indictments in the Plame case. I'm relatively certain from casual reading that indictments are on their way for Mr. Rove and Mr. Libby tomorrow.

So. What if George Galloway is guilty? Did he benefit from iraqi oil sales? (By the way, The US senate was none too happy with Galloway's performance in May when he publically humiliated them, and no surprise here: They're not above retaliation.)

According to the latest, the inquiry has discovered additional oil payments of Iraqi oil money in his 'estranged' spouse's bank account.

Yesterday Mr Galloway angrily rejected Mr Volcker's charges that he personally had benefited from Iraqi oil sales and said that he had never heard of Delta Services, which allegedly made payments to his wife. “This is all a tissue of lies and a lie doesn't become a truth through repetition,” he said.

But Senator Norm Coleman, Republican chairman of the Senate committee, noted that the Volcker report “completely supports” the findings of the Senate investigation.

“The [UN] Independent Inquiry Committee relied on parallel information and documents and arrived at the same conclusions we did: Galloway solicited financial assistance from the Hussein regime, his wife received hundreds of thousands of dollars in connection with oil-for-food deals, and his political arm also received hundreds of thousands of dollars,” Senator Coleman said.

As much as I admire George Galloway's celebrated wit, he needs to be held equally accountable by the very happy (of late) Left, who've often used Mr. Galloway as a sort of spectacle in progress. The Left doesn't need its own criminals, not when there are more than enough criminals on the Right.

If you remember the recent love-spat between ex talk show God Phil Donahue and Bill O'Reilly on the O'Reilly Factor: The one really good line was from Donahue.

"Loud doesn't make right."

Unfortunately for Saint George, eloquence doesn't make right either.

UN team links more oil cash to Galloway wife's bank account (Times Online)

"Oh, Shit."

Beware Dallas donut lovers:

A Dallas cab driver is in big trouble for getting caught on tape sprinkling dried feces on pastries.
(...)He would dry it, either by microwave or just letting it sit out and grate it up with a cheese grater and then sprinkle it at the store, officials said.

Ain't that the shit?

Man Arrested For Sprinkling Fecal Matter On Pastries (Via the always Hattastic Matt Fuckin' Drudge, KGBT4)

Christian Brando+Bonnie Lee Blakley=LOVERS!

In a new twist in the Robert Blake case, Christian Brando yesterday invoked his Fifth Amendment right not to answer questions regarding what role he may have played in the murder of Bonnie Lee Blakley. When asked his thoughts on who may have killed Blakley, Brando replied "probably sitting in the room up there". If that isn't dropping a dime on someone, I don't know what is.

Brando you remember, did some time for the killing of his sister's boyfriend years back.



Brando's Son take Fifth in Blake Case - Fox News

Birmingham Riot

The more I hear about the Birmingham riot that happened on Saturday the more I'm reminded of the Bill Hick's routine about the meeting between British hooligans and LA gangs:

There was something in the paper yesterday: 'Some hooligans caused a rumpus.' Not quite the same as Crip and Blood... that's a little more cutting. Little more telling. Blood. Hooligan. Bloods versus the hooligans .
Pop!
'Hey man, what you doin' motherfucker. Come 'ere.'
'Got to catch us!'
'Yeah, I'm trying that now. (gunshots) There... catch your skinny pale ass. How's that?'
'Ow, he got me in the rumpus. The Blood hit me in the rumpus.'

The rumpus/riot in Birmingham resulted in one death , one burnt out car, some petrol bombs flying around and 12 reported gun shots. One police officer was shot in the leg... by a ball bearing.

In a Brass Eye style twist it seems that the original crime that provoked the people to take to the streets may not even have happened.

'80 crimes' in night of violence - BBC News

Dances With Brooms

An ontario CA man was arrested on charges of sexually assaulting the family dog.

Among other things, this pet-friendlier Kevin Costner used a broomhandle to rape the dog, was sought on a $10,000 drug warrant, and had previously been charged with exposing himself to a minor. Police arrived to notify the man that he needed to register as a sex offender when they learned that he was out livin' in the dark dog house, raping the dog.

Neighbors reported that he often slept naked in the doghouse with
the
family dog, Mayra, the statement said. They said they saw Huizar
sexually
assault the animal with a broom handle and his hand and heard the
dog cry in
pain when he was in the doghouse, the statement said.

Neighbors also reported seeing Huizar in his back yard dressed in a
woman's
bra and panties, dancing with a broom handle, police
said.

Hey, I don't know, but maybe it would help if people who need to register as sex offenders and people with outstanding drug warrants might both make the same list so you don't discover that a guy is wanted on a drug charge only after arriving to tell him he needs to register and only after learning he's out back with his nose in a dog dish, gone native.

Man Arrested for Sexually Assaulting Dog (Breitbart)

Tom DeLay: The Mugshot Worth a Thousand Words.

LOOK AT THOSE PEARLY WHITES!!!!!!!!!
(Something tells me he dyes his hair, too)

DeLay Appears in Texas for Booking - AP

Arrest in Horowitz Murder Case

Fox News is reporting that there has been an arrest made in the murder of Daniel Horowitz's wife, Pamela. A news conference is schedule for 11am PST.

Pamela Vitale was found murdered in her home in Lafayette, CA on October 16. Horowitz, a sensational defense attorney who's defended drug dealers and death row inmates, as obviously concerned for his safety. He is currently defending Susan Polk, who is accused of stabbing her husband to death.

Arrest in Muder of Horowitz's Wife - Fox News

Arrest Warrant Issued for Tom Delay

An arrest warrant has been issued today for Tom DeLay. His attorney, Dick DeGuerin maintains that this is was "a matter of routine and bond will be posted". Did I mention that bond was set at $10,000? Oh yeah. We still don't know when DeLay will surrender, but I think it'll be during the middle of the night so media can catch him doing the perp walk. I'm patiently awaiting the release of the mugshot.


Texas Court Issues Warrant for DeLay - AP

Previously on Blottered:
Tom DeLay: The Saga Continues
DeLay vs. Earle: The Showdown
The DeLay Factor

Long Island Murder - New Info on Jane Doe

Jane Doe from yesterday's coverage regarding a gruesome murder is actually Elisabeth "Lisa" Parisi of Mastic Beach, on the South Shore of NY's Long Island. Lisa was a young mother of two and was identified by police using a fingerprint they had on file for her. It turns out that Lisa had been arrested previously for stabbing her boyfriend and father of her second child, Edgar Sanchez. Police do not know whether her motive was in self defense or plain craziness.

Her family is obviously devasted but, both her brother and her mother had no idea that she was missing. Lisa had been shacked up with Edgar in a cheap motel in Islip, NY and it's still unclear what's happened. Police are keeping mum about whether Edgar Sanchez is a suspect, but Lisa's brother Paul has described him as "a piece of shit who beats up women".

Gatsby Gal - NY Post
L.I. Police ID Gold Coast Body - NY Daily News

Looks Like Heroin, Gene

White Pony Express: Car gets pulled over for making illegal U-turn, passenger is caught with 42 envelopes of heroin. [Daily Record]

A Very Golden Triangle: Major Southeast Asia drug raid nets 727 kilograms of heroin, 70 suspects, 36 firearms, 6 rocket launches, 33 grenades, 1,600 bullets, two-way radios, $180,000 in cash, and a lot of broken hearts in Chinese karaoke clubs. [Bangkok Post]

Heroin Hibernates In Teddy Bear: "I just think the use of the child's toy to conceal the drugs is only the tip of the iceberg of the problem that was going on down there," said Detective Lt. James Hurley. [Boston Herald]

You Might Be A Police Dispatcher If...

In the spirit of job performance improvement (or message board masochism), a police radio dispatcher asks fellow law enforcement colleagues what bugs them most when dealing with the hammy operators. The gang at Officer.com gives a mouthful:

Originally Posted by VegasMetro
What annoys you about your dispatchers???

Why are they all so damn fat?

SO true. When I went out for lunch with one of the officers the other day, he made a comment that the eating habits in the radio room were awful. They were. They order pizza & chinese food every shift! And eat tons of it! I bring a lunch (so do other officers), and most work out in the gym during breaks.

Makes sense to me. When you have to sit on your ass all day and talk to people, it's best to provide it with the best cushion possible. I prefer burritos.

The Story Gets Worse

WEST NEW YORK, N.J., Oct. 11 - About a year ago, a girl was born in this working-class town and was promptly flung out of a third-floor window. She tumbled down a thin air shaft, naked, her umbilical cord still attached. Her head smashed into the concrete 31 feet below. She died instantly. And there she lay, unnamed, buried in a grave of garbage and cigarette packs.

September 13th and that little dead girl has a baby brother. He too is thrown from the same window, but survives despite a cracked skull and a couple of black eyes. When the cops find him they also find the body of his sister - by that time partially mummified.

The mother of the two children is 18, their father is 44 and also their grandfather.

Found via Mr Warren Ellis who also turned up the wonderful story of a surgeon still practicing in Aukland despite killing one patient and damaging three others. 'Damage' in this instance means that one woman only became aware of how wrong her surgery had gone when she passed excrement through her vagina.

Jane Doe found slain on North Shore of Long Island

Wow, the last time I was this excited was when Danny Pelosi had Ted Ammon killed. A young woman, who has not yet been identified, was found murdered in the upper crust section of the Sands Point. Apparently, no one has ever seen this woman and no one had reported her missing either. Details are sketchy....

Oh, did I mention that the village was that of the one in The Great Gatsby? I wonder if this tragedy will actually help sell more books?

Body Left Amid Mansions - NY Daily News
Millionaire Row Murder - NY Post

Tom DeLay: The Saga Continues.....

Tom Delay is expected to be booked at a Texas police station this week for his alleged involvement in attempting to violate Campaign Finance laws.

His attorneys really wanted him to have to forego that part of the investigation, but it looks like he'll still have to do the perp walk. As soon as I can get my hands on the mugshot, you can be sure I'll have it up.

In other DeLay news, it also seems that our boy has turned down a plea deal for a misdeamnor instead of a felony. Good man, stick it out. Although, if he is conveicted of the felony he'll wish that it he took the plea.

DeLay May Be Booked at Texas County Jail - AP via Fox News
Delay Offered Misdeamnor Deal Before Indictment - AP via Fox News

Previously:
DeLay vs. Earle: The Showdown
Delay Factor

White Supremacists Riot in Toledo, Ohio

That's the headline running on this ABC News report about the riot which tore threw downtown Toledo on Saturday. Judging by the headline, you might think that the white supremacists actually rioted. But then you'd be wrong. As the body of the story makes clear, the self-styled "American Nazis" were conducting a legal march when, about one-quarter of a mile along the way, gang members among the crowd of people protesting against the Nazi march began overturning cars, attacking stores and eventually torching a local drinking establishment.

Incidentally, the story appeared on the ABC News site yesterday. The headline remains uncorrected.

Cut Throat Killer Gets Life

It boggles the mind to think that this prostitute murdering goon was at large for three years before the police got their act together to arrest the moron. We have a sneaking suspicion that all that high tech crap from the CSI shows has yet to wing its way to Bolton in Northern England.

After arguing about the price for sex, Stuart Milsted battered five months pregnant Danielle Moorcroft with a brick and a bottle back in June 2002.

He then left his asthma inhaler at the scene which lead the police right to him - 28 months later.

Bright spark Milsted then eluded the police just hours after a DNA test, left a confession and then hid in a park.

Search and Rescue teams (WTF? I've been to Bolton - it's not the outback) subsequently spotted him, but Milsted had one last trick up his sleeve to escape the SLOW crawl of justice. He cut his own throat.

Alas he even made a hash of that and survived to be sentenced this week. Life here in the UK means he'll serve no less than 11 years.

That may seem a relatively light sentence, but frankly it's a miracle such a moron got this far and I predict death in a Darwin Awards style prison mishap before the end of the year.

Man jailed for prostitute murder - BBC

Official Trouble In New York State's Oh No Counties

* An Onondaga County Sheriff's Deputy is accused of having sexual contact, with inmates he was in charge of. John Geruso, of Syracuse, is charged with official misconduct and sexual abuse. The sheriff's office says Geruso had inappropriate contact with two female inmates on four different occasions.

* A candidate for public office in Oneida County was arrested twice this weekend in less than three hours for driving drunk.

* The Oswego Police Chief has been placed on administrative leave after federal agents and state troopers raided his house and found stolen property, including snowmobiles and all-terrain vehicles, and related records.

Another case of : Did He or Didn't He?

Look at that hair!!!!!! Phil Spector, no matter what kind of music genius he is/was, was apparently suffering from withdrawl from 7 different types of drugs when he told the LAPD that he shot B-List actress Lana Clarkson.

I mean, he had to be on some crazy shit to show up in court with that kinda hair, right?




Defense Wants Some Spector Statements Out - Fox News via AP

"Baby I Got You 4 New Purty Rings"

Ever noticed how a Jedi just shows up with a light saber and beheads someone? There’s no Miranda warning in outer space. And, want to know why our legal system is the best in the galaxy, far better than the Jedi legal system?

Proving that the US has the most progressive legal system ever, the “ring” leader behind the theft of four UCONN NCAA “women’s basketball rings” has admitted in a plea bargain with the state that there was in all likelihood “enough evidence” to get him convicted in the “hoop” crime and consequently has pled “you probably would have won anyway” and has been convicted of third-degree larceny. But, see, he didn't actually plead guilty.

After his court date, the man went home and packed his NIKE duffel bag with a change of underwear. The authorities had “caught” him in the case of the missing women’s basketball championship rings, but they had not searched under his bed where he had been storing the severed head of Wickett the Ewok.

East Hartford man convicted in theft of UConn NCAA rings (Newsday)

The Return Of The Jet Set

A 22 year old took a jet plane for a joyride, went 350 miles from Florida to Georgia endangering pretty much everywhere between Florida and Georgia. He did have a commercial license but not the sort of license it takes to legally fly a jet plane.

The jet didn't require a key. You can just break down the flimsy cabin and turn it on like a lawnmower. You just pull the string and this time dad's not around to laugh and call you "a little foppy liveried shit" and then leap in your arms and purr like a cat, which is totally weird, dad, but every family's different when it comes to the ancient well documented father-son passing along of grass cutting 'technique'.

With the war on terrorism now being a war on idealogy, we're showing the terrorists that since there's not enough gas for the bigger ones, we'll only allow littler jets to be stolen.

Man Arrested, Charged in Jet Joy Ride (Yahoo News)

Bumrush The Show

A well-placed mole with camera phone takes a rather suspicious auspicious photo of the Blottered Launch Party.

*Blottered Launch Party tonight on the Lower East Side at The Magician.

DeLay vs. Earle: The Showdown

Here we go with round two of the "did he or didn't he" issue at hand regarding Delay and the pit bull Texas DA known as Ronnie Earle. As you’ll remember, Earle got a grand jury to indict the former House majority leader for money laundering and conspiracy to violate campaign finance laws. Well it seems that Delay’s lawyers have bitch-slapped Earle (pictured) right back by now serving him with a subpoena claiming that he may have “acted improperly with grand jurors”.

You'll also remember the Earle was the unwitting star of a stooopid yet similar lawsuit he brought against Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson of which she was aquitted.

Previously: The DeLay Factor - Blottered

DeLay Attorney Subpoena Texas District Attorney - Fox News

"Who Would Steal Candy From A Prisoner?"

A Blottered Halloween Exclusive

From Blottered informant and candy lover kc comes this little tidbit of sicko candy corn: Four deputies were suspended for eating $24 worth of candy stolen from a jailed inmate.

The misunderstood deputies have solemnly sworn to take the incarcerated victim trick or treating if they are reinstated depending on Halloween weather conditions. In other words dress the prisoner up so he takes on the appearance of a rudimentary Take 5 then taking him to a cold, rain-lashed alleyway and devouring him - unlike a real Take 5 which is curiously unedible.

Deputies Suspended For Eating Inmate's Candy (KCCI)

Cage to Help Criminals Learn The Trade

Can Hollywood's A-list get any more adorable? First, we enjoyed Tom eagerly dictating the laws of psychiatry, then we were subjected to puzzling publicity shots of Sean Penn waving a gun down in the South's floodwaters, and now we have Nicholas Cage jumping on the Hollywood-Cares bandwagon to reform criminals:

Hollywood star Nicolas Cage wants to visit prisons to teach criminals how to act. Face/off star Cage believes people who use their anger in negative ways could use acting skills release their frustration..."One day I would love to go to a prison and maybe try to teach convicts to act.I believe that if I could get to those youngsters when they are at a juvenile age and give them a place to express themselves, in a play or in a video, they could get their anger out there, instead of in a wrong direction. ...Art can help you, I believe. Art is like a medicine. In my own case, I was a young man, I was 16 and I was angry...But acting got that out, and I'd like to give that chance to others."

Yes, performing as a bizarrely quiet, annoying, and sex-starved angel watching over Los Angeles can keep you off the crime-filled streets. Our justice system clearly overlooked how completely contrived, cliched and overrated popcorn flicks is just like medicine for our troubled, angry youth. God bless America, where artists and stars are completely licensed to offer their bullshit medical opinions.

Juicing Up

I guess it's no surpurise to anyone that almost all athletes "juice up" or use performance enhancers. Earlier this year, the Commish of the MLB and several current and former baseball players were called to testify in front of a Senate Committee regarding how, when and who used steroids (cause we all know that "performance enhancers" are really steriods). Ac ouple of weeks ago we also learned that 20 gazillion time Tour de France champ, amour of Sheryl Crow and cancer ass-kicker Lance Armstrong might also be under investigation.

Today we find out that yet another cyclist, Johan Museeuw may face a trial for his alleged steriod abuse. Only this time they've also got 6 of his buddies also.

With sportsmen making so much money, I'm wondering why?

Cyclist Museeuw May Face 2006 Trial - Newsday

The Girls of the Border Patrol

Remember a few months aga when a few citizens tried to organize volunteer border patrols and President George W. Bush derided them as "vigilantes"?

Well thank goodness for the wisdom of our President. We all know how efficient the Federal government is at handling out-of-control situations involving lots of impoverished people. And, of course, patrolling the border is a job only for professionals.

Meet the young ladies known as Sexi Sabi and Gumby88 on Flickr. When they aren't striking provocative poses on the interwebs, they're agents of the Department of Homeland Security's Border Patrol. After spending altogether too much time reviewing Sabi and Gumby's body of work, I can safely say that if I were a border jumper, I'd totally agree with the President--it would be far better to have these girls chasing after me than a bunch of weekend-warrior "Minute Men."

DNA Testing Locates Stolen Giant

I’m not sure what effect this will have on the black market trade of massive furry cag-mag but DNA testing has settled the Case Of The Giant 28 Point Stolen Buck. In 1999, the massive buck known-only-as Goliath was stolen from a couple by the owner of a deer farm who promptly renamed the enormous creature Hercules. Naturally, the magic of DNA testing has once again proven its usefulness beyond "regular" murder cases and paternity tests, as the buck was tested and authorities found that Hercules was, in fact, none other than the missing Goliath. (You don't get pictures when I'm at work).

Naturally, after 5 long years spent on a deer farm, Goliath will not immediately remember his rightful owners, therefore the reunited couple plan on re-introducing him gradually, using various subtle forms of animal husbandry techniques to nullify any feelings of rejection Goliath may feel, hoping to rejuvenate the shattered chapel window of their relationship with the deer.

The couple said in a press conference that they hope in a few months time they will again “ride the deer”. I don’t know what that means. But the owner of the deer farm has been convicted of theft and receiving stolen property. And he has been mounted and stuffed, head and hide intact, by police taxidermists as a warning to illegal huge deer buyers everywhere. And I am also in trouble, managing to coax 3 paragraphs out of this, and am going to mount and stuff myself as a warning to others. Can you hear the skinnin’ knife go to work on me? Someone pass the brandy. This is going to sting a little.

Man convicted in theft of gigantic buck (ESPN)

Featured Most Wanted: SacPD vs. NYPD

Tale Of the Tape:
Tenisha Harris-Pepper vs. Jerome Handy
Sex: Female .........................Male
Height: 5'3" ..........................5' 7"
Weight: 115 lbs ....................174 lbs
Hair: Black ...........................Red
Eyes: Black ...........................Brown
DOB: 6/21/70 ......................6/01/55
Advantage: Harris-Pepper

Related: SacPD, NYPD

Blottered Updates

* Blottered Launch Party tonight on the Lower East Side at The Magician. Details here.

* I'd like to formally welcome Mike Atherton, also of Londonist (hey Mike, how does it feel to write for two blogs that will never pay ya?), to the ever expanding and shrinking roster of revolving contributors here. He joins us from sunny England and will act as our European correspondent. We expect many reports involving French mistress on French mistress crime and insight on transcontinental people-smuggling.

* We're still looking for donations of guns, hidden-cam sex videos, and high-end stereo equipment. Thanks.

Don't mess with Reese Witherspoon

The paparazzo who assaulted children, a mom and two Disney employees at Disney's California Adventure when she took her daughter Ava and friends to celebrate her sixth birthday at the theme park on September 2nd was charged on Friday with child endangerment and multiple counts of battery.

Photographer Todd K. Wallace allegedly hit a 5-year-old child with his camera, shoved another child out of the way, assaulted one of the children's mothers and two Disney employees who tried to prevent him from approaching Reese and her kids. He also became verbally abusive towards the group, using language inappropriate for children, though I'm not sure that necessarily breaks any laws.

The photographer is no stranger to violence and crime. According to state corrections records, he was convicted of and served four years in the pokie for second-degree burglary and receiving goods by fraud.

Last April, Reese filed a police report again paparazzi who allegedly boxed in her car and prevented from entering her property but prosecutors declined to file charges, based on lack of corroborating evidence through witnesses and videotapes. At the time, Reese told the New York Times, "There seems to be no repercussions for the behavior. It's starting to feel chaotic and lawless."

Source: E! Online and Hollywood.com

For more info on celebrity babies, visit my site The Celebrity Baby Blog.

Blottered Online

Civilization and the rule of law kind of go hand in hand. But how's justice holding up in the final frontier? By which, I mean, the place where the kids who like Star Trek go (I kid because I love). Where is there a community where you can only commit venial sins, and only if you try really hard? Why, Second Life, where you can make all the mistakes you made in your first life, without the risk of crabs or a gunshot. Here are the eight latest reports about the scourge of the virtual ghetto, avatar-on-avatar crime:

Date: Monday, October 10, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Assault, Scripted Objects Region: Enceladus Description: Use of weapons. Action taken: Suspended 7 days.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Disturbing the Peace, Scripted Objects Region: Sandbox (combat) Rausch Description: Scripted prim litter. Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Intolerance Region: Sandbox Island 2 (TG) Description: Use of weapons. Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Assault, Scripted Objects Region: Mature Sandbox Description: Assault with scripted objects Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Disturbing the Peace Region: Torch Description: Persistent bumping. Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Assault, Safe Area Region: SinCity Description: Persistent and intentional bumping. Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Assault, Safe Area Region: Belmondo Description: Use of weapons. Action taken: Warning issued.

Date: Sunday, October 9, 2005 Violation: Community Standards: Assault, Safe Area Region: Disl Description: Use of weapons. Action taken: Warning issued.

Proving once again that people will still be petty, vulgar and stupid, especially when they think they're anonymous.

A Bid You Can't Refuse

Dwight, loyal reader of the Blottered Family, writes to tell us:

You too can live like a Mafia don by purchasing some of the stuff Joe Bonanno Sr.'s daughter-in-law is getting rid of on eBay. (All the Bonanno items have his name in the title.) Particularly interesting: The Don was an Asimov fan? I have my eye on this: Adds a touch of class to those barbecues, yes?

Related: The Bonanno Crime Family: Men of Honour [Crime Library]

Killer Clowns From Solitary

Christian Circus on the prison circuit:

"Picture a big clown car pulling up to MCI-Walpole with strongmen, clowns getting out and entertaining the murderers and rapists out in the yard,'' said Ken Ferullo, vice president of the Massachusetts Correction Officers Federated Union

Sounds like some harmless fun!

"Morale is at an all-time low, and we have to watch inmates who are throwing feces and urine at us be entertained by a circus, having a great time,'' Ferullo said. ``I have been in this department for 13 years and I have never seen anything like this. It's shocking."

What a joke! Violent cons treated to circus acts (Boston Herald)

You Can Bike But You Can't Hide

When officers tried to warn him about riding on the wrong side of the road, the bicyclist told officers to “get a real job,” Miner said.
Pedaling Away [Minnesota Daily]

Classy

Blottered is not about stealing all the glory for ourselves at gunpoint -- we give our infamous touch of approval when it's due. Like when our good buddy Seth in Seattle finds this item about a Mariner who isn't a credit to his community (really, they only hire the nice kids, even if they can't hit):

Here's a topic for discussion...Ex-Mariner Scott Spiezio's 2005: Good or bad?

On one hand, he hit .064 for the Mariners, they released him, and he left his band, Sandfrog.

On the other hand, he made $3.1 million.

But throw this into the hopper. Spiezio and his female companion, 27 year old Jennifer Pankratz, are charged with stealing a cabbie's cell during a fare dispute.

Thankfully, I'd already thrown away my steroids Sandfrog CDs after his .215/.288/.346 performance last year.

Full disclosure: yes, I'm totally linking to a friend of mine, and especially because I'm a Mariners fan.

Who's Watching The Watchers?

Turns out the black guy savagely beat by New Orleans finest was a retired elementary teacher hunting the dilapidated French Quarter for a pack of those rainbow cocktail cigarettes that gay socialites smoke in Armistead Maupin novels before they out Rock Hudson. More to the point, his lawyer says his client wasn't drunk at all.

The heartening and steadfast statement by the head of the New Orleans police union:``They feel they were justified in their actions and they were using the amount of force necessary to overcome the situation,'' - makes the situation seem more synthetic and therefore less troubling - because even though there were 3 white guys beating a black guy and one of them leaned an AP producer over a car and slugged him in the stomach for fun: Katrina, man.

Now they have to prevent crimes unlike "pre-Katrina" 'good old days, when New Orleans finest were rumored to be the ones committing the majority of the crimes. At least these law enforcers were able to steal 200 Cadillacs from a dealer just before Katrina set down. That's called arriving at the crime scene in high fuckin' falootin' fuckin' style.

According to insidiously placed moles within the department the next New Orleans police union statement is going to be even more revelatory, as they fess up that this was nothing more than a publicity stunt, tying in with an episode of the celluloid-brutality-celebratory The Shield. Rock!

Lawyer: Taped Beating Subject Wasn't Drunk (Guardian Unlimited)

"You Forgot Ugly, Lazy, And Disrespectful..."

This scan of a flyer was sent in by a reader who found it on a New York City subway platform a couple of months ago. Perhaps it contains a hidden message about recent terrorist threats on our mass transit systems. Or maybe Bernie Goetz got a hold of a poison-tip magic marker.

Crackhead's paternity suit against actor Wesley Snipes dismissed

In the crazy world of lawsuits, it's good to see one with a happy ending.

Back in 2002, a Indiana woman name Lanise Petits accused actor Wesley Snipes of neglecting his parental responsibilities (aka child support) for her three year old son who she claimed he fathered after a tryst in a Chicago crackhouse in 2000. Snipes denied ever having met the woman, let alone providing the genetic material for this child, and refused to submit to a DNA test when Petits took him to court to try to prove his paternity.

After twice refusing to submit to the test, a warrant was issued by a New York Family Court for his arrest but police never enforced it. Snipes countered by suing the city and Petits in order to have the warrant invalidated and claimed that the allegations violated his civil rights. He alleged that Petits was "obviously delusional" on top of being a crackhead (which typically go together like peanut butter and chocolate) . Petits' case was not strengthened by the fact that she had waged similar "fantastical" claims against Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey and Prince. However, a US District judge tossed the case out saying that it was a state matter, rather than a federal one. The judge did suggest, however, that Petits should pursue the DNA test.

When it was later revealed that another man was the true baby daddy, the city moved to drop Petits' suit against Snipes. Snipes' lawyer said that they were happy the suit was dismissed but said that they will still proceed with a civil suit against Petits for the embarrassment it has caused Snipes. The next hearing is scheduled for November in the US Court of Appeals.

Snipes is the undisputed father of a son, Jelani Asar, born in 1988, and a daughter, Iset, born in 2001, from two previous relationships.

Source: E! Online and New York Times

Felons in the Family, Part Two

I present to you the Rigas Family.....John in front and behind him are James, Michael and Timothy. John Rigas you know is the founder of Adelphia Communications and was today, along with son Timothy, indicted of new charges of tax evasion to the tune of $300 million. $300 millllleeeeeeoooon. Wow. Now we all know that the patriarch of the family and lil Timmy were both found guilty last year for stealing a shitload of money and running the company into the ground, but now they're hit with tax evasion. That's the one that could send them away to play golf for like, 20 years. Well actually, John already got 15 years and Timmy got 20 but they are both out on bail pending their respective appeals. And let's not forget about Mikey's mistrial back in 2004.

Adelphia founder indicted for tax evasion - Reuters
John Rigas Guilty of Conspiracy - CNN Money

Previously: Family of Felons Part One

Suspicious is as suspicious does (and looks)